As I head toward my fourth chemo next Thursday, I am beginning to feel some of the effects that I knew would come. It’s cumulative. Your body never really clears the poisons, and so they begin to build. So far I’m doing really well. Still no sick stomach, for which I’m very very grateful. I do have a limit to my energy level. And I have developed some sores in my mouth and my throat. And evidently I get shingles when my white cell count drops from the chemo. But they gave me a medication that works well, and thankfully it’s not the painful kind. It’s the itchy kind. But the sense of His presence has not left me; the sense that in spite of everything I am blessed is still very real and very much at the forefront.
My sleep patterns are pretty messed up. So, if you’re looking for something specific to pray for? Sleep! I try not to nap during the day. And I tried to stay up later last night, but I still woke up at two and had trouble going back to sleep. I really never did. But it is a great time to lay there and thank the Lord for all the amazing blessings. Or else I go and crawl into the Jacuzzi and gaze up at the night sky.
When it’s dark and all I can see are the beautiful stars and I hear the little critters in the bushes and it is just my Lord and I, I think to myself, who am I that you are mindful of me? But I am very much on His mind. He never takes His eyes off of us. He never gives us more than we can handle, and He allows the hard times in our life for a purpose.
I am keeping my eyes on Him and my ears open and attuned to Him so I can hear what it is He wants me to learn in the midst of this. Most of all . . . a grateful heart . . . I want that. Thank you for your prayers! They make a huge, huge difference and I so appreciate it.