So, my first radiation treatment went very well today, with no issues. I will get a total of 30, I think anyway. You know, it’s interesting to me that in all of this, I have not had to struggle to stay under His wing. It just has happened. I understand so much better now when the New Testament talks about Paul in prison, having just been beaten, and he was rejoicing. I understand the spirit of God overwhelming you, and filling you with so much joy and peace and happiness, in the midst of pain in the midst of rough treatments in the midst of seemingly hopeless test results. I cannot even begin to explain the level of joy I had during those days in the hospital. So many people, doctors, nurses, caregivers, roommates, had these amazingly spiritual conversations with me. It was like Christians were showing up in my room right and left to talk with me and share with me and laugh with me and ask me questions about my faith. Laughing with the doctor before they sent me under anesthesia to operate on me, coming out of it laughing with the recovery nurses. That’s not normal! That’s God!
My oncologist showed up Sunday morning with the biggest bouquet of beautiful roses for me on her day off. One of my nurses from oncology when I was having chemo, showed up on her day off to come and visit me. So much love shown towards me. I felt like I was in the center of a spiritual whirlwind. I don’t even know how to explain it, but I saw so much good come out of a rough few days. But they were only rough physically, and even in that I had total peace. And then I had a miracle! My doctor told me he had never seen kidneys recover as fast as mine did from where they were at. The good news is this, I’m just a girl. I’m nothing special. I’m weak and I stumble and I rebel and I get angry and I repent and I go through frustrations, and what God has done for me, He will do for anyone.
Someone sent me a story about a little boy that asked his father how big God was. His father took him outside and pointed up to the sky at a plane that was so high it just looked like a spec. And he asked him, “How big is that plane?”And the little boy said, “It’s very small. It’s tiny. I can hardly see it.” Then his father, being such a wise man, took him to the airport and pointed out the big jet they were looking at through the window and asked, “How big is that plane?”And the little boy said, “It’s so big! It’s so big, Daddy!” And his father said to him, “That’s just how God is. When we are far away from Him, we can’t see how big He truly is.” It’s only when we draw close that we experience His true glory and Majesty. If you are going through struggles right now: fear, a bad report from your doctor, issues with your children, your family, your finances, whatever it is, draw closer to Him and experience how big He truly is!